10 Steps to Gain Favor with Leaders - Part 1

How do I receive favor and how do I maximize time spent with my leader?

Let’s admit it we all want more time with our leaders. But how do we get more time with them. And we all want more favor with our leaders. But how do we receive that favor. Below is a list of best practices I have learned through trial and error. I pray that you will take advantage of these tools by allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart and mind.

Abstract

Leaders are constant thinkers, so they can appear busy, uninterested and even self-absorbed. This can be daunting for the shy and timid leader who thinks it’s better to wait their turn to speak to their leader. Unfortunately, no time is good for busy leaders, who are trying to balance the demands of ministry with personal life.

Junior leaders should make time to see their leaders. Why? To keep the line of communications open! How? Start by writing down no more than three questions—then approach your leader for the best time to address these questions. Don’t assume because you have three questions ready, that right then, is the right time. Be patient and wait. Being patient also allows some time to go by, so that you can revisit and rethink your questions.

In my personal experience, trying to reach my covering (Apostle Bride) can be tough at times. How do I handle it? I leave clear messages letting him know the urgency for my calling.

There’s nothing worse than trying to read through half-thoughts on text messaging. Thus when using text or voice messaging please be clear and concise. Don’t leave one word responses, like “No” or “Yes.” This is annoying. Leaders hate it. Be professional. Why? Text messaging is a very impersonal way to communicate, so you really want to think clearly before sending a text. Always remember, leaders can’t see your response through the phone, so what you write is a reflection of who you are.

Next, address your leader by title. Don’t just send a response. Be humble when sending a response. Lastly, be polite and clearly ask your leader to return your call. This is what it sounds like: “Pastor, I have three questions for you…that should take no longer than 10 minutes…Can you return my call at your earliest?”

Again, rethink before you speak or send a text, and never leave rambling thoughts or questions on either cell phones or voice machines. Wait to talk live or in person.

It may be a day or so before your leader gets back to you, so be patient. Here is what you can do in the meantime—rehearse! 

1.     Rehearse

Though a day or so may go by before I hear from Apostle Bride, I spend that time rehearsing. I will replay my questions over and over again until I have perfected what I am trying to say. Remember, you want to come off polished. Why polished? It lets your leader know that you value their time, and that your thinking is on point. And every leader loves that! Remember, you don’t want to come off wordy, ambiguous, or even unsure of yourself.

Only asking 3 questions makes it easier for your leader to follow your thoughts. And it will also allow the conversation to stay focused on what really matters. Remember, leaders can only process so much information at one time.

Also, if you have to meet with your leader over touchy issues, first confide with a trust worthy friend who will be impartial to you or the leader, and who will help you wordsmith your conversation. Use this individual to vent and/or to rehearse what your conversation will look like when you actually sit before your leader. This technique allows someone else to help you reword your thoughts. I use it all the time.

Moreover, being prepared through rehearsal allows you not to smother your leader with lengthy details and unimportant information.

2.     Leaders Don’t Like Details

Leaders like the bottom line. So when speaking with your leader, give them the big picture. Note, leaders think in big pictures. Leaders only need details when it involves crashing a particular project or when lives are in danger. So remember, give your leader facts and solutions—and you will gain more favor and time with them.

Remember, when you are capable of solving problems, leaders lean on you for guidance—they see you as an asset.

3.     Keep a Notepad

Make use of a notepad or even a blackberry type device to take notes when meeting with your leader. For instance, growing ministries change so much that it is impossible for you to keep up with the demands God places on the church without having a to-do-list.

Leaders look for organized individuals who take and keep good notes, and those individuals who know how to brief senior leaders on any progress made on a particular project. For instance, an assistant pastor may be tasked with organizing a church picnic for June of that year. Thus it is the responsibility of the assistant pastor to brief the senior pastor on what is going on with the picnic.

Remember, control the things you can control. That’s why you are leader. This will get you more face time with him or her.

Also, being organized with notes allows you to remind the leader of what he or she said in a previous meeting. In other words, good notes will protect you.

10 Steps to Gain Favor with Leaders - Part 2

4.     Eliminate Outside Distractions

Don’t schedule a meeting with your leader when you have to run an errand. Why? Your entire demeanor will show you have to leave. Thus make sure you eliminate outside distractions, so that you can maximize your time with them.

Best practices: Turn off cellular phones. If possible, leave the children at home.

5.   Watch Your Body Language

We all respond through non-verbal communication or through body language. Studies show that body language says a lot about how you are feeling about what is being said in a meeting. If at all possible, ask the Holy Spirit to help you maintain a cool head. Nothing is worse than twisting your mouth, or darting your eyes, folding your arms, looking down, etc. You will lose favor with your leader. It’s career suicide!

6.     Right Approach

Prepare yourself before meeting with your leader. Prayer is the best tool to use before meeting with any leader. Why? The Holy Spirit makes intercession for you before, during, and after the meeting.  

Next, be prepared to listen. Expect to receive wisdom when sitting with your leader. Note, leaders expect junior leaders to be teachable.

Don’t meet or approach your leader in anger. Reschedule or calm down quickly.

Be prompt! There is nothing worse than being late for a meeting. If you are late, call and simply state: “I am running late.” Yet, once in the meeting, please don’t make excuses, just apologize, and move forward with the meeting.

Also, make sure you get plenty of rest before the meeting. Fatigue shows. And there’s nothing like trying to express your thoughts while tired. Remember, leaders are constantly being “pulled-on” by everyone, so you may only have a few minutes to get your point across. Make it count!

Don’t open the meeting complaining. Remember, leaders like solutions.

Lastly, ask your leader is this a good time to speak with them. This is a best practice I use. Leaders will remember that you value their time.

7.     Stay Motivated

Leaders enjoy working with leaders who remain focused and on fire. Because new organizations undergo constant change, senior leaders rely on those individuals who know how to stay motivated.

One way to stay motivated is to stay away from disgruntled and unmotivated people in the organization who are the constant complainers—these people become thorns in the leader’s side. Remember, complainers can be persuasive, so beware of them, and move away from them quickly. Don’t let your good name be associated with them.

Another way to stay motivated is to let things go. How? Learn to exhale the day out of your spirit through prayer, meditation, exercise, relaxation, and rest.

8.     Stay Calm

Don’t panic or show fear around your leader. Leaders look for those people who are sure of themselves. They look for calm people during crisis and during calm seasons. If you struggle with remaining calm, experts say to take deep breaths before speaking. This relaxes the diaphragm. Also bind the devil. Most of our anxiety comes from the devil.

9.     Ask for an Assessment

Don’t wait for your leader to ask you for assessment, you ask for an assessment. Leaders love to see people who care about what they are doing. Always know where you are in the organization.

10.      Manage Up

Leaders like for junior leaders to take the initiative to come up with great ideas, and to solve problems. They also like to see junior leaders remind them of progress regarding projects that are up-and-coming events. Your leader should never have to ask you the status on a project, so take the initiative and brief them. 

BAPTISM

Baptism is important. The act of baptism is unfortunately a confusing thing in our day. Rehoboth offers Baptism Classes to all people who have recently become Christians, Christians who have been sprinkled as infants or have never been baptized, and those who are curious as to what baptism means. These classes are designed to bring clarity to what baptism is about and its meaning in the Christian’s life.

Baptism is commanded by Jesus. Believers do not have an option about whether to be baptized or not. Baptism is an outward expression of an inward work of God. This salvation and inward change must be proclaimed publicly as Jesus and His disciples did.

Below are some answers to common questions about baptism.

Is baptism needed to go to heaven?

Baptism is not the agency or means of Salvation. By this we mean that Baptism has never saved anyone nor ever will it. Our Saving Grace only comes by receiving and believing the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Savior, then and only then are we ready as a candidate for Baptism.

People are saved (and get to go to heaven) by believing that Jesus is the Christ, repenting of their sin and putting their faith in Him alone. This is seen by the thief on the cross who was never baptized but brought into Christ’s kingdom the same day he died (Luke 23:43).

Conversely, baptism without believing in Jesus and repenting cannot save anyone’s soul either. Baptism has no power to save. However, salvation (being saved) and baptism are always tied together and go hand in hand.

What is baptism?

The process of baptism is very simple. You begin by standing, sitting, or kneeling in some water. Another Christian (preferably the pastor) then lowers you under the water and brings you back up out of the water. You could also literally call this “immersion.”

Because some churches sprinkle water on babies or adults instead of immersing them, the obvious question is whether this is okay. Since the only legitimate answer comes from the Bible, that is where we must look for God's view and the early churches view of what a 'baptism' was. It is interesting that nowhere in the Bible does anything but “immersion” take place. That is, baptism is always by immersion.

This makes sense if you realize that “baptize” is a transliteration of the original Greek word baptizo. In turn, baptizo comes from the root word bapto, a term used in the first century for immersing a garment first into bleach and then into dye, both cleansing and changing the color of the cloth. (Note its similarity to baptism’s cleansing of sin and becoming a new person through Christ.) Stated another way, when you process cloth to change its color, you are said to “baptize” it. If sprinkling of any kind was to be practiced, a different Greek word would have been used, but it was not.

When should someone be baptized?

Acts chapter 2, verse 41 (Acts 2:41) – 3,000 people were baptized after believing on the first day of the Christian church. Verses 38 and 39 make it clear that people who accept Christ as their Savior will be baptized soon after their belief.

Acts 8:26-39 – Philip meets the Ethiopian on the road and witnesses to him about Jesus. We know where this road from Jerusalem to Gaza is. Verse 26 terms it a “desert.” The only water there was oasis water. This means that the eunuch and Philip climbed down into the people’s drinking water to do this. Apparently, Philip and the eunuch did not think it could wait until later! (You will also notice they did not take a handful of water and “sprinkle” the eunuch to keep things sanitary, either.) The Bible states that all Philip did was “preach” Jesus to him (verse 35) and then the eunuch said that he wanted to be baptized (verse 36). This means that the preaching of Jesus includes preaching and the need to be baptized.

·         Acts 9:18 – after this encounter with Jesus on the Damascus road, Saul (later renamed Paul) decided to accept Jesus—and was baptized.

·         Acts 10:47, 48 – Cornelius and those with him were commanded to be baptized, becoming the first non-Jewish converts to Christianity.

·         Acts 16:13-15 – Lydia and her household “believed” and were baptized.

·         Acts 16:16-34 – The Philippian jailer “believed” with his household and they were baptized—and this was in the middle of the night!

On top of all these references, when Jesus left the earth He told his followers to make disciples by baptizing and teaching believers (Matthew 28:16-20). Believing, getting baptized and being taught are commands for every follower of Jesus.

Note: young children who cannot accept Jesus Christ because of their age, will be excluded from the baptism classes and the baptism altogether, until they reach the age of understanding (generally, at age 8). Generally, baby and child dedications are administered.

What do candidates wear the day of baptism?

Wear your church clothes to church. You will have a chance to change into baptism attire before the baptism starts. Yet, many churches provide a baptism type robe, for which now Rehoboth doesn’t have any. However, it is preferred that a white gown be worn that extends to the knees of each baptism candidate, with black undergarments worn underneath.

Women wear a swimming cap over your head.

What to expect the day of the baptism?

Each baptism candidate will be prayed over for the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Also, each candidate will verbally express their acceptance of Jesus Christ as their Savior, while they are in the pool.

Also, anticipate sharing with millions of other believers who have already went down into this watery grave because of their faith in Jesus Christ.

What can you expect coming out of the water?

Some believers come out of the water speaking in new tongues while others emerge from the water having a much different experience, but nonetheless, you will have received the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Some believers ask, “Why didn’t I come forth speaking in tongues?” The answer is simple, and found in Scripture, the Holy Spirit gives gifts to men as He sees fit (1 Corinthians 12:1-10). Candidates, just rest assure, whatever the need is in the Kingdom, you will receive the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, who will empower you with a gift(s).

If I was baptized as a child can I be baptized again?

Yes. But remember, baptism doesn’t save you—it’s an ordinance, like communion. Moreover, many believers who want to experience a fresh start in life tend to elect going down in the water again.

The pool will be properly treated and cleaned. 

Cost of doing business

Leaders beware that monies used belong to God, so we are to be good stewards over these funds.  Thus, leaders must think in terms of cost of doing business at all times.  Meaning, before moving forward on a project, ask: “What will the total cost be to the church?”  Henceforth, the dollar cost averaging (DCA) formula will help you figure out the cost of doing business for the church.

Also, remember that time is money, and car fuel is money too, so don’t forget to factor both time and fuel into the cost of doing business.  For example, you may save a dollar purchasing an item in Philadelphia, but you burned about $10 in gas just to get it—not to mention the time wasted.

Use the Dollar Cost Averaging (DCA) formula when deciding on how to allocate church funds.  Listed below is the most basic DCA formula.

[Dollar Cost Average (DCA) Formula]

[(Total cost of items purchased/number of people) = DCA]

     Food purchase example:

Option 1	Option 2
Chicken Soup Dinner People: 30 Cost of goods: $75	Steak Dinner People: 30 Cost of goods: $200
Total every item on the menu, and divide it by the number of people. [($75 total food cost/30 people) = $2.50 per plate]	Total every item on the menu, and divide it by the number of people. [($200 total food cost/30 people = $6.67 per plate]

Role of Pastors

The Role of the Pastor

“And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding” Jeremiah 3:15

Pastors are called of God, and not of man. A man can recognize your gift and even ordain you, but the true call comes from God.

“Ye have not chosen me but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit shall remain…” (John 15:16).

Jesus reminded His disciples that He had called and loved them from the beginning. Thus, the term called always denotes God’s choosing on one’s life. Hence, a pastor’s calling is not based upon his or her talents, skills, gifting, education prowess, or pedigree, but through God’s sovereignty (His ruling).

Terms to know

Shepherd means to watch over God’s sheep. David made this term famous in the 23^rd Psalm when he penned “The Lord is my Shepherd.”

Pastor is synonymous with the term shepherd. The term pastor derived from the word pasture—for it was the pasture where the shepherd led the sheep to graze.

Shepherds should be able to do

Shepherd you out of trouble

Know your voice (emotional voice & spiritual voice)

Be able to teach (and not necessarily to your liking or choosing)

Correct and comfort with the rod

Release blessings over you and your family

What you should receive from your shepherd

Love and patience (1 Corinthians 13:1-13)

Encouragement and wisdom (Hebrews 3:13)

Relevant messages that come from the Holy Spirit (2Tim.4:2)

Impartation of your gifts (Ephesians 4:11-12)

Restoration and healing (James 5:14-16)

Preparation for community and worldwide service (Eph. 4:12)

Pastoral care at his calling or at your request

Accessibility (for counsel & prayer) (Jeremiah 3:15)

Counsel and good preaching/teaching (2Tim.4:2)

Rebuke and reproof (2Tim.4:2-4)

Shepherds private life

Worship, Study & Prayer

Physically exercising and/or relaxing

Leading his family

Remaining upright in the community

Listening for God

What to expect from your shepherd

He or she should live a life of integrity and holiness at all times

He or she should honor his spouse and children in private and public

He or she should be a good spiritual provider for their family and the church family

Common mistake parishioners make when following their pastor

They look for a particular teaching style that suits their ears. (2Tim.4:2-4)

Tend to devalue the anointing on their pastor’s life. (John 6:42)

Tend to despise rebuke and correction. (2Tim4:2-4)

Some develop itchy ears! (…want to hear something else) (2Tim.4:2-4)

Welcome!

The Reason for the Blog

As your pastor, allow me to stress upfront how humanly impossible it is for me to establish formal classroom training at this time, for the following reasons:

1.   We don’t have a building just yet that we can sit together in and dialogue.

2.   Scheduling conflicts make face-to-face meeting times difficult.

Yet, with the increase of newly appointed leaders at Rehoboth, some type of ongoing training is certainly necessary, especially now that our bible institute is in a hiatus status. Thus, for all the right reasons, I have decided on a more convenient, practical, and contemporary format (blogging) as an alternative and best practice for developing the skills needed as a Christian leader. I believe the more we develop together, the better we will lead God’s people today and tomorrow.

Moreover, as a valued leader at Rehoboth, I don't want to see you become a disgruntled follower, resulting from a lack of training. Yet, I know firsthand how lonely it can be sitting in a new position without any guidance or direction. The truth is, when senior leaders are aloof in their responsibility to become accessible to their junior leaders—ears become closed, and frustration tends to set in on both sides.

Lastly, it is best said—“past success is an indication of future success.” Hence, I believe this great door (the bldg) has opened in this season for Rehoboth because of the devotion and hard work we put forth last season—when the leadership team sat together at the Ramada discussing community, evangelism, personal evangelism, and so on. I truly believe God will honor us again, if we treat this blog in the same way we treated the classroom.

What the blog is not:

Now that you know my reasons for starting this blog, let’s talk about what the blog is not.

·    This blog is not homework but heart-work

·    This blog should not be time consuming 

·    This blog in no way is setup to make a difference between leaders and congregants

Pastor’s 3 Goals

1.   To help you grow as a leader in-and-out of Rehoboth

2.   To grow alongside you as we edify one another and God’s people

3.   To establish a forum outside of church where leaders can touch each other

How to get the best out of it!

I would encourage you to set aside devoted time for this personal development and best practice. Reading through each blog should take you no more than 10 minutes. Yet, if you are unable to read a lesson due to time constraints, read the blog the next day. Yet, what you don’t want to do is to let a week or so go by before you have read and understood a lesson. Also, post a comment for other bloggers to read and comment.

Closing Remarks

Moreover, blogging will allow us to cross-pollinate our learning together. For instance, I may blog “the role of a deacon” ...well, as an elder, pastor, or evangelist, this knowledge will help you better understand exactly what the bible says regarding that position. The more we understand each other’s role at Rehoboth, the stronger our leadership team will become.

Remember, what you put in, is what you will get back! 

Shalom